I think that your experience sounds a lot like most people in the Church. Now, when I say that, I don’t mean “most people who don’t care about getting close to the Lord” in the Church. What you described is what most people who are showing up and who long to be closely connected with God are experiencing every day. We want God so desperately, but we don’t seem to be able to experience His Presence and His Power. So what do we do?